Being that my name starts with this letter, it's always been a personal favorite! :)

Home: Okay, truth time. I'm hoping that writing that I'm thankful for my new house will help me feel more thankful for it. Right now, it's a huge stress ball. Just when we think we are done with the info for the mortgage people, we find out we need more!! I know I will love my new house when I get in, but why does it have to be so complicated?! But all that aside, I am thankful to have a place to live with my husband AND my doggie!

Holidays: I'm SO looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas! I love spending time with my family. Plus, it's great to take a break from the pace of everyday life and do something different. And we get to eat delicious foods. Like...

Ham: It's my favorite lunchmeat and holiday main course. MMM!

Gee..

And we roll on!

Games: One of our wedding presents was a Wii. We played it this weekend, and it was so nice to have some time just devoted to having fun! We got lots of other games that we play together sometimes, and I look forward to playing with friends in our new house in the future.

Gummi Bears: So delicious and chewy :) I also loved the cartoon show- does anyone remember that?

Grace (my congregation and the thing that God gives me!): It is so great to celebrate the reformation each year and to be reminded that Grace is so key to our faith as Lutherans. God is so good. It means so much to me to know that I have God's love even when I fail and don't do what I am aiming to do. Knowing I am forgiven gives me strength to keep trying.

And Grace on 6th Avenue is pretty great, too! I love you all and so does God! I am so glad to be doing God's work and sharing God's word with you each week.

For the love...

Moving right along...it's a good day to be thankful for things here. Gorgeous leaves, warm temp, sunshine. YAY! So that makes it easy to be thankful for...

FALL: I am soaking up the amazing colors and the last days of leaved trees. God made such a beautiful world. I am in awe of the blazing colors and how they all compliment each other and the blue sky and the green grass. It is a magical time to be outside. Brian and I took Jonah for a walk at Lion's Den park in Grafton on Saturday. It was so fun to walk along the paths, crunching in the leaves and enjoying being outside before we have to bundle up in our snow suits!

FRIENDS: Okay, I know I talked about Emily in the last post. But I got to meet up with her last week on our days off and it was great. Like she said on FB, sometimes you just need to be with one of your dearest friends. And those times seem to be too few and far between for me these days, so I really appreciate it when it happens. To have someone who knows you and you can really be yourself with is such a gift. Thank you God for good friends!

FUZZY SWEATERS: That one might be a stretch for the "F" category, but it is a Monday morning and I'm not quite at full capacity :) But I've been loving lately the chance to snuggle up in some warm clothes. And talk about grateful- what a gift it is to have so many warm things to wear. At this time of year my thoughts always turn to those who don't have warm clothes or places to live, and how I can help them. The sermon yesterday was awesome, and a good reminder that by supporting our church we are a part of great ministries like Lutheran Social Services. If you didn't hear it, you should definitely listen to it. It should be up soon at http://www.gracegrafton.com/podcast/index.htm

EEEEEEEE!!

Boy is it windy outside! Fall is officially here it seems. I love to see the leaves changing color, but hate to see them fall off...sigh. Not much I can do about that though! I'd better turn my thoughts to gratitude before I get too depressed about the change in scenery.

I am thankful for:

Eric: My brother. He is 12 years older than me, so we have a different relationship than many siblings do. But what is so neat about my brother is that he always has taken an interest in my life, despite our big age gap. He played with me as a kid, he took me to movies, he always made me feel special. One of my favorite memories is going into his room and listening to him play the guitar. He'd always play and sing silly songs to make me laugh. He's a great cook, so intelligent, and a happy, hard working guy. I'm so glad I have him for a brother!

Emily: While I'm on the E-names, I have to give thanks for my wonderful friend. She was my roomate during seminary, and she was the perfect roomie and friend. I have so many good memories with her and I am so glad that we are still good friends.

Energy: To light up our homes. To turn on this computer. To fly planes and drive cars so that we can go visit the people we love. To get out of bed, to walk around, to do work. To enjoy all the blessings that God has given us. To use our talents to serve God and others.

D-Day

There is much to be thankful for these days! I'll try to contain myself to D, but I am feeling so blessed these days it's gonna be hard!

Dad: My dad is so sweet. As I am at work, he and my mom are loading up a U-Haul with my belongings, moving most of them into storage. The number of times he's helped me move with his bad knee/hip/back...I can't even count! And he says he's glad to do it. He is such a good dad, and I am sooo thankful I have one, because you really have no control over who your parents are. I love him!

Dusk: My favorite time of day I think. I love seeing the sky as the sun sets. It makes me think of people coming home to their families for dinner and of being safe at home. It's a time to look back on the day and thank God for it, or if it's been a bad day- pick through the pieces to find the blessings God squeezes in there.

DVR: Not as profound as the first two on my list, but OH! I do love my DVR. It's a luxury I know, but so worth the 10 bucks a month! With my crazy schedule and my propensity for TV, it helps me keep up with all my favorite shows. It also helps me to NOT watch commercials, which are the devil ;)

I C....

It's been a little while since my last post, but I was busy getting married :) It was an awesome day and Brian and I loved every second! So I have a lot to be thankful for, but I'll try to keep it in the topic of the day...things that start with C.

Computers: Without them, I wouldn't be able to communicate through this blog! Or Facebook with the High School Kids or my friends, or write my sermons as easily. I know there is some valid criticism of technology and how it's helped move us away from face-to-face interactions, but it's also helped connect us in new ways and to people we might not have been able to get to know. I am thankful for that.

Candy: So delicious! I inherited my Grandma and Dad's sweet tooth. We even had a "candy bar" at our reception as the favor for the guests to take home. It was awesome! If anybody wants some jelly beans, I might have a few hundred left over :)

Coffee! As I type, I am draining the bottom of my cup. And as always, wishing for another.

Christ: He is the one who gives me hope and whose life is an example for me to follow. The older I get, I think the more I love Jesus. I love preaching about him, reading about him and being reminded of how much he loved humanity. We have a good God!

What are you thankful for today?

B is for...

Today I'm thankful for:

Bananas: Though there is a small window of time when I will enjoy a banana, when I find that window- YUM! Filling, good for me, and a lot of fun to peel :)

Babies: They are adorable and so snuggly. And a lot of fun to make laugh! I am so thankful for all the beautiful babies we have at Grace, and all the beautiful babies my friends are starting to have.

Beaches: I wish I were at one right now...so relaxing. Sunshine, laying down on the sand, swimming, eating yummy food. Now that I think about it, many of the best days of my life and my favorite memories involve days at the beach.

and of course I'm thankful for...

Brian: My very tall and very cute fiance. I feel so incredibly lucky to have such a great man with a good heart in my life. He is a rock and a comfort to me. I can't wait to be married to him and to grow in our love for the rest of our lives.

The ABC's of Gratitude

Whoa, long time, no post! I knew it had been a while, but...well as you can imagine it's been a crazy summer! Busy at work, busy in life. Weddings are a lot of work for someone who hates details.

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to do a gratitude journal. Another blogger I read is doing that, and also because- (confession time) I don't blog sometimes because I'm not sure what to write. There are lots of things on my mind but it's hard to choose. So maybe having a topic will help focus me.

I'll move through the alphabet and blog things I'm thankful for according to the letter of the day. Gratitude journals have always helped my faith...so without further ado:

A:

Annie- My soul sister from way back in those swing choir days I mentioned in my sermon a couple weeks ago. She is a dear friend and an inspiration to me.

Anticipation- It's really more than half the fun. I usually enjoy thinking about my vacations more than I enjoy the actual vacation. Anyone else? There's a healthy dose of anticipation in my life these days, waiting for the wedding. I know it's going to fly by, so I'm trying to enjoy the moments before, too.

Alison- My lovely sister. A great example of faith and love.

Attentiveness- People who have the gift of giving their full attention to someone. Also peole who are attentive to details and catch things that I might miss!

Soo, there's the first letter down! I encourage you to journal/blog along with me and see what blessings you discover!

Summer Time!

Sort of. It is June 8th but it feels more like April! Summer is slow in coming to us this year.

But the normal benchmarks still come, no matter what the weather- graduation, grilling out, flip flops (which I will continue to wear despite the temperature!), parties, vacations, and summer worship schedule at church.

It is fun (for me) to have everyone worship together during the summer. I bet you see a lot of new faces if you normally only go to one of our Sunday services. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself to someone you don't know- I think people are understanding if you don't know their name, especially if they go to a different service. One service on Sunday gives us a chance to meet other Christians that are a part of the Grace family.

Summer at church also means we have more visitors- make them feel welcome and invite them to come back to worship, to join a group you partipate in at Grace, or to a special event coming up. Hospitality is one of our very important jobs as Christians.

Summer is supposed to be a "slow" time, but I bet we can all agree that somehow, it seems busier than the rest of the year! I hope that you will find time though to relax, to be with those you love, and to worship God.

May your summer be safe and joyful!

Above and Beyond

Okay, I didn't write this...but I think it's great. I read it while preparing for the Ascension Day sermon I'm preaching tomorrow- May 21, 7 pm at St John's in Grafton. I hope this article touches you.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1058/is_10_120/ai_102140725/

Above and beyond
Christian Century , May 17, 2003 by Lawrence Wood

Ascension, May 29 Luke 24:44-53; Acts 1:1-11

JUST LIKE THAT, Jesus is gone. He reappears just long enough to say goodbye. Like a wraith, like a dream, he leaves behind no children, no estate, no writings, no trace of himself except this feeling that his presence was real, that his absence is temporary. Christians have this uncanny feeling that he was just here. He must have just stepped out.

It's a feeling of mixed joy and grief, of doubt and near certainty. The ascension marks the moment when we pass from Jesus' time into our own.

The stories say that he is taken up into heaven--like Elijah--and while we puzzle over the physics of how this happened, we have no trouble understanding it emotionally. We know too much about loss. Loved ones are suddenly taken from us, and the manner in which they go fills us with awe. It is an amazing, dreadful thing. Even though we know that they are going to "a better place," we cannot follow, and have a hard time imagining that we ever will. In the strange days afterward, we have to reconcile feeling bereft with receiving an inheritance.

So the stories about Jesus' ascension are about a Christian attitude toward death. Take away the fantastic circumstances, and here is the hard reality: Jesus is gone. He rose not just from the dead, but right up and out of our world.

Yet we cannot take away the miraculous. In deed, the miracle is the whole point: this ascension, a second Easter, confirms that he is going to heaven. His Jewish disciples see with their own eyes that he is not going to Sheol, the realm below, but to the abode of God. He is alive, so maybe their loved ones are alive; maybe death is not the end of us. As they stand on the earth, the disciples surely can think of others who were just here and might be back soon for those they love.

Luke tells two stories about the ascension. In the first, he says that Jesus walked with the disciples "as far as Bethany," where his friends Mary and Martha lived. According to the Gospel of John, Bethany was also where he raised Lazarus from the dead. So it was a significant place for him--a good place for him to spend his last moments on earth.

Let's read between the lines and imagine that he chose the place of his departure because he wanted to see Mary and Martha one last time. Perhaps they ran to meet him, threw their arms round him, shouted in amazement. Mary probably had no more tears to wet his feet. Perhaps he sat at their table and let Martha wait on him again. All the while, the wondering disciples who had traveled the few miles from Jerusalem saw why he had risen, why he had come back here. Read this way, the Gospel version of the ascension is a love story.

Luke's second account of a departure site is in Acts. Here he doesn't mention Bethany, but says that that Jesus ordered the disciples "not to leave Jerusalem" for Galilee right away, instructions that are different from those in other Gospels. At any rate, this version recalls the ascension of Elijah, and then surpasses it completely.

As Elijah waited for the whirlwind that would take him to heaven, his disciple Elisha asked for "a double portion of his spirit." Sure enough, when Elisha picked up Elijah's mantle, that's what he got--a powerful dose of the Spirit. In similar fashion, Jesus promised his disciples that he would not leave them comfortless, but would give them the Spirit. He meant for them to have an inheritance. And when, in a manner of speaking, they picked up his mantle, that's what they got--a double portion. The Spirit at Pentecost! We can still feel the force of it, whistling around our ears.

This, too, is a love story. A story of how love survives loss. We are not comfortless. We don't worry too much about his absence, in part because his Spirit is so alive and present. He may have risen, but in another sense he remains on the ground. He has become his disciples. They have become him.

Carl VandeGiessen, in his horn-rimmed spectacles and red tennis shoes, remains vivid in my mind. Ten years ago he lost his wife, Ruth, after her long battle with Alzheimer's. Carl had sat at her bedside every day, even in the long years when she hadn't known him. "This is what I took my wedding vows for," he would tell me.

They had met in the Epworth League of the old Methodist Church, raised beagles together, traveled together and maintained the romance of their marriage. When she died during Holy Week, it seemed to unnerve his only daughter. I meant to console him when I said, "Carl, I'm sorry. It's especially hard to lose her this time of year."

"Are you kidding?" he said. "This is the best time for my Ruthie. She's with God now. That's what this week is all about."

Now even Carl has gone--walking confidently in his red shoes to a realm I can only imagine.

Even as the ascension leaves us here, in the modern world, ascension points beyond it. We know little about heaven--not even, really, if it is up there--but we have a lot of hope for our loved ones. We expect to see generations and generations of them, somewhere, in a time that is neither ancient nor modern. Before we were even born, Jesus changed the way we think about the dead. I would like to see Carl again someday, but this world is not the place to seek him, because he is not here. He is risen.

Things Undone

"We have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what we have done and by what we have left undone."

These words are from the Lutheran Book of Worship confession and forgiveness. I am always struck by the last phrase- "what we have left undone."

That really changed by view of sin a few years ago. Up to that point, I would usually spend the time in church trying to think of ways I had sinned by what I had done- something concrete like lying, jealousy, taking God's name in vain, etc.

But then I realized we also sin by things that we don't do- like standing by while someone is teased or lies are spread, or where justice is denied, or not caring for the least among us as if they were Jesus himself.

There are lots of ways we can do harm, just like there are lots of ways we can do good. Now I tend to think my inaction is just as important as my action in life. This has been much more of a challenge than not doing the sinful actions. It is much easier for me to stand by and watch something happen that I know is wrong than to get in the middle of it and stick myneck out there.

But then I think that Jesus did not just sit back and say nothing. He was out there, doing what needed to be done to bring God's kingdom to earth- healing the sick, telling us about God and bringing us closer to God. In fact, Jesus is the one who faced injustice and his friends sat by and watched. But God still forgave them for that. And God forgives us for things we don't do when we promise we will try not to do them again. The only way I can do that is if I know I have God's help. I pray for that every time I confess, and I pray that we will all have to courage to move from leaving things undone, to doing God's justice in the world.

"He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"
Micah 6:8

Resurrection

Yesterday at the Adult Education Hour, we talked about the resurrection of Jesus. Because while Easter is over to most people, in the church we still celebrate it for 5 weeks after! And what better thing to talk about than the cornerstone of our faith. Without Jesus resurrection, there isn't much point to what he said or did. His resurrection proved that he was the Son of God.

So as we were talking, it came up how we don't really hear much good news outside of church. People tend to focus on the negative, and you are much more likely to hear about shootings/falling stocks/accidents than you are about the good things that happen each day. So I thought it would be a good idea to think about that, and fitting for the season of Easter!

Here are some good things that have happened to me lately:

• Libby, a four-year-old who has been very sick lately, was singing along with the hymns at church on Sunday. It was awesome. She doesn't know the words, but I could hear her just making a joyful noise to the Lord! She also threw her arms around me when she walked out of church. What a gift she is.
• I got the financial report from our church treasurer today (we always get one each month). Despite the economy the people of Grace are being extremely faithful in their giving! We are very blessed.
• I had the privilege of presiding at Nate Bryan and Rebekah Castro's wedding. Their love was so wonderful to see.

I could go on...I think I'll write one thing each day this week. I encourage you to do the same! God has given us so much to enjoy and appreciate- I hope you can see and celebrate that this Easter season.

Ash Wednesday Sermon: Dusty Secrets

A few years ago I went to an Ash Wednesday service, just like I had done every year since I can remember. It was not much different than any other typical Ash Wednesday service. So when the time came, I got up to go receive my ashes and to hear the words I had heard every year of my life so far on this day- “Remember that you are dust, and to dust your shall return.”

But that year, as I stood up and waited in the line to kneel before the pastor, something different happened. My knees began to shake. Then I felt like my whole body was shaking. For some reason, that year it hit me: I am going to die.

It’s not like I didn’t know that before, but I don’t think I had really realized that it was true, that it was going to happen to me. It’s not like it was a secret, but it wasn’t anything I had ever really understood. It was shocking and completely terrifying.

When it was my turn to receive the ashes, I knelt down in front of the pastor, a tall and imposing kind of man. He put his hands on my head and they were so big, they almost completely covered it. His hands were a huge weight pushing down on me as I knelt. I felt like I was trapped under the weight, in a cage of his fingers.

“Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” He smeared the sign of the cross on my forehead with his big, ashy thumb.

I trudged back to my seat with my heart still pounding.

This is how we begin the season of Lent every year- with ashes smeared in the shape of a cross on our foreheads. We remember that we are dust. We look back- all the way back to the beginning- when all there was, was dusty dirt. And God breathed life into that dirt and made Adam, and then Eve from Adam, as the creation story in Genesis 2 tells us. God caused rain to soak the dirt, and God created a beautiful garden for Adam and Eve to live in. Out of the dusty dirt, life was created, watered and sustained.

Well we all know what happened next! Adam and Eve didn’t wait too long before they messed up, and got booted out of this beautiful garden with these words- a reminder from God we still say today- “Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return.”

Returning to God is an important theme of Lent. It’s a time to refocus ourselves on God by looking ahead to what is coming. We return to God and look towards Good Friday, facing the cross with him. We return to God to remember that we are dust, and that is how we are going to end up. We return to God to confess our sins, to open up to him about whatever secrets and shame we have been holding that are keeping us from God.

Telling God those secrets is important. But the funny thing is, God already knows our secrets. There is nothing we can hide from God. In the reading from Matthew Chapter 6, we heard Jesus’ instruction not to make a big deal of ourselves in front of others in our giving, our praying or our fasting- because when we do these things in public, others see us and that is our reward. Jesus tells us to do these things in secret- because then only God will see us and he will reward us. The things we do in secret are not hidden from God.

Jesus said, “When you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing…When you pray- go into your room and shut the door…” It is in the secret places where we meet God.

So a natural question is, Then why do we come to church? Why get the ashes on our foreheads for everyone to see? Why don’t we just stay home, locked away in our rooms, confessing our secrets to God and lifting up our prayers where no one else can hear? Isn’t it better for us to keep our secrets between us and God, and not let anyone else know that we have messed up, sometimes so deeply that we can never make it right again?

I know I come because though my room is secret, when I just stay there the weight of my sin and my secrets just keeps closing in on me. I don’t stay in my room because it gets really dusty in there, especially when I use it as a place to bury my secrets as far down in the dirt as I can. I don’t stay in my room because I need to know that though other people may seem perfect to me, they mess up, too, and we stand here and confess this together. I don’t stay in my room because I know there is another room where I can come to be with God and to have the weight of my secrets and my fears lifted.

Tonight this is our room. We gather here together to confess our sins, but to also hear the good news and be reminded of God’s forgiveness. We gather here to remember that though we are all going to die, and though this might cause us great fear, that is not the end of the story. We gather here to face the cross together, looking to our Savior Jesus Christ.

The cross tonight stands in a different place- next to the baptismal font. Both are symbols of death- death to our sinful selves in baptism, death of Jesus on the cross. Both are symbols of life- new life as God’s children in baptism, new life through Jesus’ resurrection on the cross.

Tonight we all wear the sign of the cross on our foreheads- Just as when we were baptized the pastor traced the cross on our foreheads with oil. That mark is harder to see, and both the ashes and the oil are easily washed away. But what never changes is that the one who made us out of dust holds us in his hands from the time we take our first breath to the time we take our last. No matter what our secrets or our fears- and in these uncertain days I know our fears are many- no matter what, our God gives us new life whenever we give our hearts. Where our hearts are torn and broken, God heals them through limitless love.

“Yet even now, says the Lord, return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; rend your hearts and not your clothing. Return to the Lord, your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love.”

It doesn’t matter to God how we look on the outside. What matters to God is what is happening on the inside. God can see our hearts, and that’s what he is concerned about. God doesn’t want us to put on a show for everyone. God doesn’t want us to be looking for rewards in places and people that won’t really give them to us. Instead, God calls us to confess our secrets and to live our lives showing his love quietly. When we practice our piety in secret, the world has no one to thank but God.

And so, having confessed our sins and remembered that God holds us from dust of creation to the dust of death, we prepare ourselves for the meal of thanksgiving- the Eucharist. As you hold the bread, thank God for this piece of forgiveness. As you drink the cup, thank God for the new life it brings.

Because of this gift, we don’t have to fear death. Someday we will be dust, but we are not dust yet. So go from this room tonight quietly. Wipe the messy ashes off your forehead, but not off your heart. Wait for and receive God’s abundant grace and steadfast love. Thank God that out of dust, dirt, and death comes new life. Amen.

It's coming...

It starts with an "L" and rhymes with "rent."



Yes, that's right, Lent is just around the corner! In one week we will gather together to sing the beautiful Holden Evening Prayer Service. We'll have Grace's famous Potato Soup and ham sandwiches (it's the soup that's famous, not the sandwiches!).

But even more important than the food, we'll come up one by one to have the sign of the cross made on our forehead, just as we did when we were baptized. But this time the oil is mixed with ashes. Ashes are an ancient symbol of repentence. During lent, we focus on repenting from our sins, or turning away from them.

I can think of sins I need to turn away from. Sins that I am scared to turn away from because I do them so often. Sometimes our sins turn into crutches, but really they hold us back instead of helping us move more freely.

So I feel challenged this Lent. I feel a tension between liking myself in my sin, and knowing that God has a better idea. I know that is true. Especially lately, where I have started to feel bogged down by my sins.

Time to turn over a new leaf, to let the weight of sin fall, to remember that I am baptized and THAT is what makes me who I am. Thank you, God, for giving us times to remember that your love is greater than our fears and our sin!

As we prepare for Ash Wednesday, I invite you to think about what is holding you back, dragging you down, and how God can help you change.

Lord of Healing

Lord of my greatest fear:
Let in your peace.

Lord of my darkest shame:
Let in your grace.

Lord of my oldest grudge:
Let in your forgiveness.

Lord of my deepest anger:
Let in your love.

Lord of my loneliest moment:
Let in your presence.

Lord of my truest self- my all:
Let in your fullness.

~Adapted from a pryer by Alison Pepper, England.

In my most extreme experiences is often when I feel closest to or furthest away from God. When I'm really happy I feel God pouring through my veins. When I am really upset, I cry or yell to God- where are you? But when that happens, I always feel an answer come soon after. After my darkness, my fear, my loneliness, my grudges, my shame- after those times when my true self comes out in it's most vulnerable (and sometimes awful) form, I feel God coming in. I wake up at peace. I wake up and it's a gorgeous, bright sunny day. I feel forgiven. I feel loved. This is how I know God is real.

New Things!

Behold! I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up, do you not see it?
I am making a way in the desert
And streams in the wasteland.
~Isaiah 43:19

I've been preparing the last couple weeks for a new thing happening at Grace. Tonight is the first meeting of the Caring for Creation team. This is very exciting! How we care for our world is a reflection of our relationship with God. God entrusted us with the big and wonderful job of caring for the world. This is something I've thought a lot about and worked very hard at doing ever since I was a little kid. The first time I went to summer camp the theme was "What did Noah do about trash?" We talked about recycling, composting and spent all day outside in God's beautiful creation. We read the creation stories from Genesis and my heart was moved.

If you've been reading this blog, you've probably noticed that I write quite a bit about things like rain, seasons, and nature in general. I feel a great connection to God through these things. Martin Luther said that God not only wrote the good news in the Bible, but in the trees and the stars. The Bible often uses creation for metaphors and to do God's work- using water in baptism, bread and wine in communion. And there are lots of psalms and passages that talk about creation praising God, in their own way, along with humans.

I am really happy to be able to get this ministry going at Grace with so many willing participants. Of course, it will take the support of the whole congregation to work. But I look forward to growing together at Grace in how we care for God's beautiful world, and growing in our faith in our amazing Creator through this important work. God is doing new things among us every day. Thanks be to God for that!