"It rattles softly at the window like the fingers of a child as I sit on the edge of the tub to tie my shoes. It comes down the glass in crooked paths to stir my heart absurdly as it always has, and dear God in Heaven, the sound of it on the roof...It is the rain, and it tastes of silver; it is the rain, and it smells of christening."
~Frederick Buechner, The Alphabet of Grace.
I woke up in the middle of the night last night. I was having terrible dreams. In one dream I waded through drifts of snow trying to keep my house safe from intruders, and in another I was floating at sea on a deflating raft. When I woke up, I could hear the rain falling outside my window. It soothed me back to sleep.
I love the sound of rain. I love what rain does for the world- cleaning it, making it greener, helping it produce food. It reminds me of my baptism. I imagine it as God's grace, tapping on my roof, soaking through my clothes, trying to get to me to wash me clean.
One of my favorite memories is going downtown with my friends every summer to go to the Taste of Chicago. We joined millions of people feasting in the streets. One year, the sky was dark and low with rain clouds. And then suddenly they opened and drenched us all. It was so much fun, and when I got home, I felt cleaner and fresher than I ever had before or since.
Another powerful memory is when I came home from college one April to go to my Uncle Ken's funeral. He was my dad's brother, and a very beloved uncle and godfather. My dad and I sat together in a dark room and cried, and we listened to the rain pounding on the roof. I thought of it as God crying with us.
It's a gray day today, but I don't mind. In fact I feel so good, I didn't even need coffee this morning! The rain is washing away all the dullness of winter, soaking into the ground to help make it green. It is melting away the heavy drifts of snow. There are flowers blooming outside my window, with more promising to come soon!
In these changing days of spring, I am feeling so connected to the resurrection of Jesus. The tomb is empty, the stone rolled away. "He is not here, he has been risen" say the angels in Luke's gospel (24:5). Life follows death. Spring follows winter. Light comes into our darkness. I pray that you will find hope in Christ through God's word and through the reminders of resurrection God gives us in creation. Christ is risen. Alleluia!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Words and Wisdom
"When they bring you to trial and hand you over, do not worry beforehand about what you are to say; but say whatever is given you at that time, for it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit." Mark 13:11
"For I will give you words and a wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to withstand or contradict." Luke 21:15
Words like these are what helped finally make up my mind. I had been thinking about being a pastor for many years, but I thought "Who am I to speak God's word to these people? Who am I to stand up in front of them every week and talk? Why would they listen?"
But then at a gathering of young people "considering" seminary in Nashville one June, I heard pastor and highly respected theologian Walter Bruggeman preach on these words. I realized, it is not ME that would be speaking and leading as a pastor, but God through me. If that is the case, I thought, then I can do this.
Jesus speaks these words to his disciples shortly before his betrayal and arrest. As Pastor Paul reminded us on Sunday Jesus knew these things were coming. He knew it was going to be a bumpy road (not that it had really been all that smooth for him and his disciples so far) and that he would no longer be there to lead them and try to tell them where they were going wrong. So he promises to give them the words they will need.
I have started to joke with people that I am changing my job description to "Person who says I don't know." It's true, there's a lot to learn about Grace, God, and life! We are always disciples. I don't claim to have all the answers. This can be hard sometimes as I WANT to have answers for some of the questions people ask me about life and faith.
But I always fall back on these texts. God will give me what I need. As long as I remember to pray and believe, I have to trust that the words that come from my mouth are what God wants me to say. I have to trust that God will come to each of you to give you the words and the wisdom that you need. It doesn't always happen when we want it to. But as Luke goes on to say in chapter 21, "Not a hair of your head will perish. By your endurance you will gain your souls."
May God be with us, giving us the right words and the trust that our endurance will bring us through into God's glory.
"For I will give you words and a wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to withstand or contradict." Luke 21:15
Words like these are what helped finally make up my mind. I had been thinking about being a pastor for many years, but I thought "Who am I to speak God's word to these people? Who am I to stand up in front of them every week and talk? Why would they listen?"
But then at a gathering of young people "considering" seminary in Nashville one June, I heard pastor and highly respected theologian Walter Bruggeman preach on these words. I realized, it is not ME that would be speaking and leading as a pastor, but God through me. If that is the case, I thought, then I can do this.
Jesus speaks these words to his disciples shortly before his betrayal and arrest. As Pastor Paul reminded us on Sunday Jesus knew these things were coming. He knew it was going to be a bumpy road (not that it had really been all that smooth for him and his disciples so far) and that he would no longer be there to lead them and try to tell them where they were going wrong. So he promises to give them the words they will need.
I have started to joke with people that I am changing my job description to "Person who says I don't know." It's true, there's a lot to learn about Grace, God, and life! We are always disciples. I don't claim to have all the answers. This can be hard sometimes as I WANT to have answers for some of the questions people ask me about life and faith.
But I always fall back on these texts. God will give me what I need. As long as I remember to pray and believe, I have to trust that the words that come from my mouth are what God wants me to say. I have to trust that God will come to each of you to give you the words and the wisdom that you need. It doesn't always happen when we want it to. But as Luke goes on to say in chapter 21, "Not a hair of your head will perish. By your endurance you will gain your souls."
May God be with us, giving us the right words and the trust that our endurance will bring us through into God's glory.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
I'm still here...
Hello!
Just a quick note to say I have not forgotten about my blog! Nicaragua and coming back to Lent/Holy Week has taken up a great deal of time lately. I will write about Nicaragua as soon as I can. In the meantime, I am loving the busy-ness of this season. I love seeing you at the Wednesday Lenten meals and worship. I have always loved this because it makes me feel like we are a family, getting together for dinner at the end of the day. The worship at Grace has been really enjoyable for me too- I love Holden Evening Prayer and having the confirmation students involved in worship (particularly the great skits!) has been a joy.
There is so much going on at Grace, and at times our schedules and "to do" lists get pretty hairy. But I am so thankful for this (okay, today I'm thankful, but sometimes it makes me want to take a nap). We are so blessed to have a vibrant, faithful, growing congregation. And I am blessed to have the Holy Spirit (who often comes to me through my Americanos from Alterra) to help me minister. God bless your Lenten journey!
Just a quick note to say I have not forgotten about my blog! Nicaragua and coming back to Lent/Holy Week has taken up a great deal of time lately. I will write about Nicaragua as soon as I can. In the meantime, I am loving the busy-ness of this season. I love seeing you at the Wednesday Lenten meals and worship. I have always loved this because it makes me feel like we are a family, getting together for dinner at the end of the day. The worship at Grace has been really enjoyable for me too- I love Holden Evening Prayer and having the confirmation students involved in worship (particularly the great skits!) has been a joy.
There is so much going on at Grace, and at times our schedules and "to do" lists get pretty hairy. But I am so thankful for this (okay, today I'm thankful, but sometimes it makes me want to take a nap). We are so blessed to have a vibrant, faithful, growing congregation. And I am blessed to have the Holy Spirit (who often comes to me through my Americanos from Alterra) to help me minister. God bless your Lenten journey!
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